Weekend Links - March 31, 2012

Today I go a bit Hunger Games review crazy. I've read the books but I haven't seen the movie. I'm not sure whether I want to see the movies, though Philip really wants to ASAP. These books / movies have turned out to be more controversial in Christian circles than I had expected and I do not wish to be disrespectful to Christians who hold a different perspective. If you haven't read them or haven't formed your own opinion, these posts may be helpful:

• The Hunger Games, Ethics, and Christianity by A.T. Ross
• The Hunger Games: A Christian Response by April Allbritton at TheoMag
• The Hunger Games, Christian Ethics and the Young by Beth Felker Jones
• The Hunger Games: A Prophecy? by Robert Barron
• Hunger No More by Monica Mullin
• Team Bella or Team Katniss? by Nancy French (note: this is not a Christian review per se but the points raised are valid)

And now on to our regularly scheduled links!
1. Ten Things I Want to Tell Teenage Girls. (Hat tip: I shamelessly stole this post from my friend Julie.)

2. Sounds like an interesting book: A Guide to Help Americans Speak the Queen's English. Here's my own contribution: "pants" mean VERY different things in the US vs the UK. (Pants = Underwear in the UK)

3. V2 Rocket found in Essex Mudflats. I love these stories about how the Second World War is still affecting life. (Note: that site has very questionable links in the sidebar so view at your own risk.)

4. Meg wrote a lovely post about the importance of the words "Proud of You".

5. Tigons, Liger, Leguars, and Jagupards, Oh My! (P.S.: If you'd like to see members of the zebra / horse family who have interbred just come visit the Creation Museum's petting zoo.)

6. I needed to read Brandy's post: Learning Not to Fear a Time of Rest. Our homeschooling is at what Melissa Wiley calls "low tide" right now. Maybe that's not such a bad thing.

7. This sounds like so much fun: Organizing A Free Ladies' Boutique.

8. Two interesting posts for writers:

• 10 Books Every Fantasy Author Should Read
• 10 Secrets to Creating Unforgettable Supporting Characters

Just for fun: I loved this stop motion movie - so cute!


Pins of the Week:
Anyone remember the Liberty of London line for Target from a few years back? I wish I could find more things with this print (I have two boxes but that's it):

Source: Uploaded by user via Karen (Candid Diversions) on Pinterest

Doesn't this blanket look cozy? Someday, I shall make one. I hope.

Source: myhandcraftedhome.blogspot.co.uk via Karen (Candid Diversions) on Pinterest

So, what did you stumble on this week?
This post is linked to Saturday Stumbles at Simply Staci. Come share your links!

Things I Know at 20 Weeks

Today I would be 20 weeks pregnant.

Half way.

We would probably have our ultrasound today or maybe early next week. We'd all go: Philip and the girls and me, to see the newest member of the family and find out whether we went 5 for 5 (girls!) or whether there would be a little brother surprise. (Astonishment!) We'd watch the baby's antics on the flickering screen and laugh as the baby tried to kick away the people pestering him in his cozy home.

Only, obviously, that's not how it goes this time.

Time is passing and the first, stabbing, crushing, hurt has eased. But it doesn't go away. Because I know what's it like to be 20 weeks pregnant. I know that I would be wearing maternity clothes, definitely "showing". I know I would be feeling him kick and turn and I'd be sharing those kicks with his Daddy and sisters, urging them to come see or feel what he was doing.

That makes me miss him more than ever because I know. I know he'd be a part of me, always carried with me, rocked to sleep when I walked and awaking to play any time I sat down or went to bed.

...so I am allotted months of emptiness,
and nights of misery are apportioned to me. Job 7:3 ESV

Months of emptiness? That sounds about right. Time marches forward to August. Only I won't be giving birth in August. There won't be a new bundle of baby goodness at the end of this march.

And nights of misery? Nights are the hardest. They're not busy. No one needs my help or my attention or my presence. Sometimes sleep is illusive.

Half way.

Half way to what? I'm not sure yet. But I'm thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who is carrying me there.

Can a woman forget her nursing child,
that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb?
Even these may forget,
yet I will not forget you.
Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands...Isaiah 49:15-16a ESV

The best part, the one thing that encourages me most: the God who carries me is also carrying my tiny son. Maybe later I might post exactly why I believe this (and the Scriptures that give me specific hope) but for now, it's enough to know.

He's our son. He has a name (a name that means "God is my Salvation" and a middle name that connects him to his daddy, Pop, and great-grandfather). He matters, if only to us. At six weeks or fourteen weeks or twenty weeks and far beyond, he is loved and he is known, not perfectly now, but one day - I will meet him.

Even though I can't imagine it, can't imagine how it can be true, that passage from Isaiah reminds us that "even a mother may forget". I don't see how. Thoughts of my baby are always with me, even without the necklace I now wear. I miss him and it's a physical, near constant ache. But what a comfort to know, even if I forget - I, his mother! - God doesn't forget. Not ever.

Thank you, friends, for walking with me on this path. God has used so many people to encourage, comfort, and just "be" with me on this journey I did not want to take.

20 Questions Parenting

This post on Misreading Daughters from the Femina Blog really got me thinking. Philip and I have four daughters (which you well know if you've been reading my blog for any length of time and yes, I know, the above picture is quite out of date now) and there are a few things we've noticed along the way.

While all our girls occasionally have difficulty explaining what is wrong, we have one daughter which requires what we call "20 Questions Parenting" when disputes arise.

"Are you sad?"
"Are you angry?"
"Well, why are you angry?"

She cannot seem to frame the perceived offense against her into words or explain why she is reacting this way to it. She becomes increasingly frustrated with her inability to make her obviously dull parents understand why her indignation is righteous.

We will not allow physical retaliation (and yes, we've had some from all of our daughters, even the youngest, at different times). We will not allow, as far as we are able, sinful reactions no matter what the provocation. The difficult thing is not all altercations have a "good girl" and a "bad girl." It's not always easy for a parent to unravel the situation. And then someone will play the "feelings" card: "Well, she hurt my feelings!" As though that was the ultimate trump card.

One thing you'll learn raising daughters: feelings are complicated. And they are not easily ignored.

A recent discussion wound down like this:
Us: "So, were you scared when your sister turned off the basement light?"
Her: "Yes."
Us: "Are you angry with her for turning off the light?"
Her: "Yes. Because I think she did it on purpose!" *Bursts into tears*

It took many questions to get to this point. We had to have the offending sister apologize. And then we had to hold and comfort our daughter who could finally see why she was so upset. She had to calm down before she could apologize in her turn for retaliating against the sister who had left her in the dark basement alone.

As easy as it would be to become frustrated with our less articulate daughter (or her sisters, when they have similar difficulties because they all do at times), I have to remember that sometimes I don't know why I feel a certain way either. Maybe I'm hungry or didn't get enough sleep or I want my husband to understand that when I am saying I am angry about something I'm actually sad about something I can't quite express and can't he just figure that out already?!

Just as my husband is not a mind-reader (he occasionally has to remind me of that), neither are my daughter's parents.

So I guess we'll keep asking those 20 questions. Or more, if that's what it takes.

So, friends, do tell: is there anything similar in raising sons? Have you ever felt like you were playing 20 Questions while parenting?